Matthew Davenport

--------------------------------------------------- Who am I? Do you really want to know? Well, the best way to measure a man is in the quality of his friends. That being said, I'm gold, baby! I'm the guy who says howdy instead of hi. I'm the fool who stood up and asked the teacher why he doesn't take the tests. I'm the guy who convinced a room of strangers to give you a standing ovation for you're being pregnant when you weren't. I'm the lunatic who jumped at the chance to throw a pie in the professor's face. I'm the goof who challenges the giant, get's his ass kicked and jumps at him again (Hi Smitty). I'm the guy who shouldn't teach. I'm the guy who tells the stories that start with "So there I was...", I'm the guy the AML torments. I'm the guy who'll be drinking the tequilla with a tomato juice chaser. I'm the guy who will take you on in racquetball. I'm the guy who photoshops you on a stripper pole. I'm the guy who's getting a chair. I'm the guy who tells everyone you made out with that plant-life.I'm the guy who writes those stories about things that you've never done but wish you have. I'm the guy who tells all those stories. I'm the guy who's ever only finished one story and keeps going back and rewriting it. I'm the guy who's fun to know. Things that turn me off: Localized anesthesia, carbon scoring, lint traps, blood thirsty mongooses...or geeses...aliens that only breathe chlorine gas, swastikas, when they aren't the droids I'm looking for, cannibalism that only focuses on the pinky, Trepanation, NAGPRA, detachable earlobes, clown feet, tattoo's of you're conception, lack of cabin pressure, and giant rats. If you really want to know me, meet me. I promise that you might not be disappointed. I promise that you might even like me.